Facing Christmas After Loss: You’re Not Alone
- nktherapies17
- Dec 12, 2025
- 3 min read
We grow up hearing that “Christmas is a time for family and the people we love.” It’s said so often that it becomes stitched into our understanding of what this season is supposed to look like.
But when you’ve lost someone close, Christmas can feel completely different. Instead of warmth, it may bring a deep ache. Instead of excitement, a sense of dread. The festive lights, the songs, the cards in every shop—they stop feeling magical and instead become reminders of the person who isn’t here.
When the Season Highlights the Silence
Grief has a way of making everything heavier. The sadness feels sadder. The loneliness feels lonelier. A simple Christmas advert or the first string of lights in town can make your heart sink. You may find yourself wishing more than anything that you could buy just one more gift for the person you’d give the whole world to.
And yet—you’ve survived every day up to this moment.
For many people grieving, daily life already feels like a marathon. You wake up, get out of bed, get dressed, get yourself to work, feed yourself, keep up with responsibilities. You say “yes” to plans because you know you’ve said “no” too many times, even though you’re not sure how long the smile will stay on your face. Every day, you put in more emotional effort than most people will ever realise.
The Mask We Feel We Have to Wear
Now, as Christmas approaches, there’s pressure to be “festive,” to be cheerful, to join in. It can feel like being asked to put on an emotional mask that you’re simply too exhausted to hold up.
You’re not alone in feeling this dread. And you’re not weak for finding this time difficult; you’re human, and you’re grieving.
One thing I often tell clients is that the lead-up to milestones—birthdays, anniversaries, holidays—can be harder than the day itself. The anticipation heightens emotions, while the day, when it arrives, is often more manageable than we expect.
You Will Get Through This Christmas
It might not feel like it, but you will make it through this season. Not because the pain disappears, but because you’ve weathered so many painful days already. The strength you’ve shown to get here is the same strength that will carry you through the holidays.
And then, one day, the season will pass. The intensity will ease. You will breathe again.
Counselling Can Help—It Helped Me
If this Christmas is feeling particularly overwhelming, please know that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness. Bereavement counselling can make a profound difference.
I speak from experience.
For a long time, I avoided getting help. I focused instead on supporting others, on being the strong one. It wasn’t until 2004, during my first counselling course, that a tutor gently suggested I might need bereavement counselling myself. That was the moment I finally allowed myself to seek help.
Was it uncomfortable at first? Yes.Did it take courage? Absolutely.Was it worth it? Completely. It changed my life.
You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone
If you’d like support during this difficult season, I’m here.
You can contact me (Natalie) through my website or by email.
Whether this is your first Christmas without your loved one or your tenth, your grief is valid. Your feelings matter. And you deserve support, gentleness, and space to heal.
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